Sunday, December 4, 2011

Radvent: Balance

Um, hi.
*cough, cough*
Is this thing on?

So, here I am. I guess I don't really know what to say about how besides the fact that I haven't written a physical post in about a month, I've really been checked out of blogging mentally since I bid adieu to Undergradfab and moved over here to Babble + Bloom. I guess I was waiting for this blog to feel like me, and when it didn't, I got bummed. I completely failed to remember that if I didn't put myself into my blog, it would never feel like me.

I'm glad I took some space, but I've been feeling a hole in my life in the last few months, and I think I finally realized that it came from the loss of my identity as a blogger. I'm going to try this again, and I hereby commit myself to blogging a lot in December and see how it feels, and go from there.

I stumbled upon Princess Lasertron's Radvent posts via some other lovely blogs I follow, and it seems like the perfect way for me to get back in the blogging habit while simultaneously doing something I adore: reflecting.

So! Let's do this, shall we? I'm skipping back a few days to Day 2: Balance (can I just say: holy links, batman. Sorry for the overload in this post :))

Last fall, I was living in Minnesota and finishing up my last year in college. One particularly gorgeous day, I was headed to class & I happened to park a bit farther from campus than I usually do. As I was walking to class, I stumbled upon this poem pressed into the concrete sidewalk.

if you love this as much as I do, you can find out more about St.Paul's sidewalk poetry here

I snapped a picture of it on my phone (because how often do you stumble upon poems on the sidewalk?) and moved on with my day. I've revisited that picture on my phone time and time again over the last year. I tend to be a bit black-and-white with my actions and with my thoughts. Either I must be the perfect blogger or I can't blog at all. Either I must eat 100% (enter one of the following terms here: vegetarian, vegan, paleo, clean, intuitively, etc) or I have completely failed. I must be the perfect daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, student, etc, or I have done something wrong.

I'm absolutely, one-hundred-percent positive that most of you are the same way and know exactly  what I'm talking about.

I have finally decided I am done with perfect. it. is. exhausting. I try, and I let go. I breathe a little deeper, and I cut myself some slack. I do a little yoga. I take a little nap. I go for a walk. I dance around my apartment. I try something new.  I get out of the house.  I call my best friends. I cry a bit, and I ask myself what's missing. Usually, it's love, connectedness, and patience. I have honest chats with myself aloud in my car, completely weirding out all my fellow drivers. I stop trying to plan, and let myself live in the here & now.

I certainly don't know enough about balance to tell you how to do it, but I would like to think we're all getting there.

Want to join in on the fun? Check out more about radvent here. And how do you find balance? I would love to know :)


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