Self-care has been on my mind today.
|coat: old navy; scarf: target; polka-dot tights: the limited; boots: dsw|
We had an unexpected family emergency a few days ago, and while things seem to be okay for the time being, it gave me pause. I had to take a step back and look at where my priorities have been-- and as a secondhand result, it made me re-evaluate just exactly how much I've been (attempting to) balance on my plate these last few months. I've been saying yes to every commitment, filling every spare minute with more work to do, failing to prioritize sleep and calm and slow and man-- am I feeling it. Isn't that the way it goes?
I think about something my wise yogi sister told me once-- that we humans are meant to hibernate in winter. Our most primitive instinct is to huddle up, safe from the elements, and slow down while the world pauses and freezes until springtime begins poke its head through the melting snow once again. Of course, we don't have to hibernate anymore, what with things like electricity and coffee and fleece-lined leggings (hello, lover). But, she tells me, it's still rooted somewhere in our human nature, and I believe it. Why is it that we can seemingly run on no sleep and nothing but beachside breeze to fuel our days in the summertime, but come winter, our tanks seems to empty no matter what we do? It's probably because the only way to fill it is to let ourselves hibernate every once in a while.
And so. Last night, tank feeling bone-dry, I canceled a night out. I stopped by the library for a new book on my way home from work, taking extra care to thoroughly crunch through the freshly fallen snow as I headed back to my apartment. I roasted a tray of carrots with dinner and cuddled up on the couch in front of two new episodes of Girls. I lit as many candles as I possibly could before our neighbors started to fear our apartment had gone up in vanilla-scented smoke. I finagled my hair into some sort of ridiculous scarf-covered top knot and actually took the time to oil-cleanse my face instead of hap-dashing my makeup off with a quick swipe. I made a cup of tea. I flossed. And I was all cozied up in bed before my roommate even got back from her last-minute nighttime Target run.
And lo and behold. I woke up this morning and didn't automatically reach for a cup of coffee to start my day. I hopped out of bed instead of rolled. I ate breakfast. And it wasn't in my car. My tank feels a little more full than it did yesterday, and sure enough-- I plan to continue to keep filling it a little bit every day. I have no intentions of running on empty again anytime soon.
These pictures were taken on a winter-y walk with a friend the other day, when the temperatures had just barely risen above freezing to the point that I almost began to believe spring was on its way. And I know that when it does, I'll gladly trade in my wool coats for bare legs and beach breezes, tank magically filled on sunshine and vitamin D. But until then, I'm realizing just how nice it feels to hibernate.